So I experienced a first this week…my first booty call. I mean wow!! I of course shared this with several girlfriends and the responses were varied. Of course they all said I shouldn’t go, not that I was even entertaining that option, but something else was varied between them. Should I be flattered or insulted? I first thought, “Oh gross. Ain’t never gonna happen dude!” But the more I talked with my girlfriends I started thinking, “Man I feel pretty.” Are these ideas mutually exclusive? I mean the general consensus about cat calling is that it objectifies women but does that mean you can’t feel flattered that someone noticed the effort you put to get dressed this morning? I mean, if I could I would wear sweats and t-shirts all day but since I have a job I get up an entire HOUR earlier than necessary so that I can pick an outfit and do my makeup. While I would rather that be appreciated with a, “You look very nice today,” as opposed to a “Lookin’ hot mama.” Does the delivery take away from the fact that I am looking good?
Pondering that makes me wonder about this booty call thing. *BLANK* started off by telling me he was alone, he needed help with a device that a kindergartener could figure out, and he had booze. OK lets stop right there…really dude? If you wanted to get into my pants please put a little more effort into it. He must have thought that I was born yesterday. Since I had never happened to me, as discussed above, I was torn on how to feel. The feelings of disgust and grossness first settled in but they were followed by, “Damn Erica…” Are these feelings wrong? Right? Neither?
So one of my friends Significant other, who we will call BLANK 2 wanted to punch BLANK in the face for me. While I definitely appreciated the sentiment and call to action I was unsure about how to react. However I then thought it might help me to sort out my feelings about the whole affair. Clarify how I should be feeling about this. After thinking about it I decided that BLANK 2 had the right reaction. I am not a plaything. I am a human being and as Aretha Franklin sang “RESPECT” is the name of the game.
I would love to hear about how other felt when something similar happened to them.
Erica Is A Professional 
Good question and one that has been part of women’s history and feminism for a long time. I hear ya, sistuh! At the risk of responding as your mom and and an oldie but a goodie (LOL), let me say that I, too, have struggled with this. As someone who has been overweight for a significant portion of my adult life, and as someone who has never fit into the conventional ideas of women’s beauty, I never did get cat-called–and part of me felt left out because of it. Then my feminist side (which is most of me!) would slap me upside the head.
I like Blank 2 a lot. Thank you to him! And yes, you should absolutely take away from this that you deserve respect! But in your own journey of weight loss, it’s bound to feel somewhat validating to be noticed.
So as you move on, when a good person notices you and pays you respectful attention, then you will feel over the moon. And that will be a good feeling.