I assume some of you have heard the above statement when referring to a full-figured African-American women. And believe me…it true. A couple of days ago I was getting ready to go to work and I had on makeup. I happened to pass the mirror that is on the back door of my dorm room and thinking to myself, “Damn, I look good.” I bet a lot of skinnier women do that a lot but it doesn’t have happen a lot for me. For a full-figured women a lot of the times we look into the mirror and only see the things that need to be changed. Ever since then I have made an executive decision: I am going to love myself no matter what.
Loving myself is not as easy as it sounds, so to help myself meet this goal I have set up some rules or steps as you will.
Step One: Dressing for success.
Yes, I always get dressed in the morning but a lot of the time, especially in the early morning, it is just sweat pants, a baggy t-shirt, and flip-flops (sneakers if it is to cold outside, and I mean cold…or raining). I am going to make an effort to wear at least jeans. I have tried this for a couple of weeks and have discovered that I do feel better, more confident and actually less large because I am not swimming in baggy things.
Step Two: Makeup to highlight my best features
I started wearing makeup on and off in high school. Of course for a special occasion I would but not in my everyday. I was never up in time or had the knowledge of what to use and how to use it. That’s all about to change. I have begun to educate myself on everything makeup can do and how it can make me look better. Everything from blush to concealer to eye shadow, I have begun to make a new me every morning.
Step Three: Take care of myself…inside and out
Watching my weight and exercising has been a struggle for me for my whole life. I have decided that while I will embrace who I am now doesn’t mean that I cannot improve. Eating healthier, watching portion control, and making sure to get some exercise are all parts of taking care of myself. This step also includes taking care of my teeth, skin, hair, and nails. I have tried to not bite my nails ( I do when I am anxious or nervous). I will also take breathers and enjoy everything college has to offer. Stress is never good and I will try to balance the two so one doesn’t overwhelm me and the other doesn’t hurt my chance of success.
Step Four: Protect what I have
This step includes protecting my belongings; internally and externally. Internally would be my ego and confidence that can often take hits. Externally would be my friendships/relationships. These are things that are very important to how I grow and progress as a person. I would not be the person I am without my family or friends and I never want them to think that I do no appreciate what they do for me. I would fight for a friend until the end, whether they want me to or not. I know that there are 4 girls who I will forever be connected to and I intend to keep it that way. Repaying in kind everything they have done for me.
Step Five: Commitment to change
I have made a commitment to everything in my life from my school work to my relationships. I will always be there for a friend. I will be physically and mentally present at every family gathering. I will remember birthdays and get presents. I will never talk about a friend behind his/her back. I will never lie to a friend, even if it hurts. I will always listen with my ears. I will call my parents more often to let them know what is happening with me and/or just to say I love you. I will be proactive instead of reactive. I commit to being the best me.
These are my steps. The ones that will help to guide me body and soul to being the best person I can be. Join me. Comment in what steps you would add or change. I would be very interested in what you have to say.
I am big, black and beautiful….what are you?
Erica Is A Professional 