Guest Writer: Listen Up Kids!

I have been meaning to start an “Ask Riss” column for my blog but never got around to it. Fortunately, Erica invited me to write as a guest and I couldn’t be more thrilled! Even though I’m killer with advice, nobody has asked me any questions – so I’m just going to rant about things I wish I had known and write a letter to my younger self. If you are in college, or struggling in general, please advise.

Ahem…here I go…

Letter to Myself 

Dear Marissa,

Please don’t worry.

• You will never, ever again in your life, use algebra, calculus, geometry, or statistics.

Guys, if you’re anything like me, you have shed many tears while struggling over your math homework. Much to my disappointment, I needed to complete four semesters worth of statistics and even as a psychology major, I have never once solved for x in real life.  I beat myself up for two solid semesters with self-talk about how I would never be successful because I could not figure out from charts of numbers if this question was legit; “Humans driving in their cars see yellow firetrucks a millisecond before they see red firetrucks in a rearview mirror. Please detail whether or not this is statistically significant. Show your work.” Those last three words were enough to send me into fits of anxiety and shock. Most of my work in high school consisted of doodling a giant walrus mooning a dolphin across the page and googling the answers (yellow is NOT statistically significant). Ironically enough, I had too much common sense to waste my time learning how to use theorems and proofs. Clearly, if you have a brain and have seen a red firetruck ever in your life, you know this question is a crock pulled out of your professor’s butt.  The reason math is such a boring and horrible subject is because it blows. You could give me fifty-five years to do a page of math homework and I wouldn’t do it until the night before. Honestly, sometimes I STILL think about how dope it is that I don’t have any homework. USE A CALCULATOR. If this still doesn’t sooth your mind, Burger King employees will never be required to cut sandwiches in the shape of a trapezoid.  Instead of beating yourself up about math, you should be focusing on the important questions in life like if a vegan is also a mathematician, which do they talk about first?

• Boys are horrible.  

I was so incredibly confused watching all of my friends “hook up” with random people (both men and women), start dating seemingly out of the blue, and even weirder, get married. The 2.5 babies are probably not far behind. I was depressed for so long and couldn’t pin down what was wrong with me. Sure, I carried extra weight around my hips, sang off-key in the shower, and occasionally put on outfits that would make Lady Gaga cringe but there are worse things. For instance, boys. The thing you need to remember is this: when someone posts Facebook pictures of flowers, sweet cards, chocolate or jewelry that their significant other bought for them, pity the hell out of them. I hate to be that person who calls others out on social media, but that’s not even remotely love. Love is not a thing NOR an act; it is something you feel. Don’t get me wrong, I used to cry out of loneliness when my friends had a seemingly beautiful relationship that I couldn’t attain. Until it actually started happening to me. Your significant other is boosting their own self-esteem by getting you nice things, because they are COUNTING on you sharing with the world what a wonderful and considerate person they are. It’s an act, and I was a victim of believing it was the real deal for a long time. Men, women, and relationships do not appear on social media. Which is why when my summer fling Pierre sent me too many Candy Crush requests, I legitimately stopped liking him. Here is how you tell if your significant other is there to stay: pee on them. People in general, whether you are attracted to men or women, are like snowflakes. If you piss on them, they will go away. If they don’t, definitely consider keeping them around. However, heed my warning. People are so manipulative and in order to get someone to like them, they will stop at nothing to shine themselves in a certain light. I have personally witnessed too many “Come to Jesus” moments when someone realizes they are being used. So, guard your hearts. That is so important. You don’t need to be married until your brain is fully developed, which is around 35. Those who get married in their earlier years are among the 50% divorce rate…so yes, I’m adding to you to my personal statistics chart. (See bullet one and shake your head with awe). People change but boys will always be horrible.

• Love yourself.

Look at yourself in the mirror. What do you like? If you’re like me, your eyes will instantly cast downwards at your beer-belly-donut-accepting stomach, cellulite, razor scars, and more. I have a scar on my right breast from skin removal. I have a mole that could block out the sun on my back. I get nervous when I have to tell doctors what I actually eat. But that’s beside the point. My instant “go to” response when someone asks me what I like most about myself is mumbling some bullshit answer about my shoulders. I never think about my shoulders otherwise. Ask me now, my answer would be different – I would say my eyes. Not because they are exceptionally beautiful (because they are actually gray) but because they have seen more than most will ever get to see in a lifetime. You have one body, and it is yours to treasure. This is very hard to explain, and trust me; I don’t always feel this confident. Every line, every scar, and every roll is a story of your life. There is only one version. I did a brief interview a while ago, and contrary to popular belief, nobody gives a shit about your looks because they are all too focused on themselves. I couldn’t tell you what the most delicate and chic fashion trends are because I don’t stare at magazines long enough to find out. Let me explain another way. Nobody sees you eating boogers in your car because they are all too busy texting and driving. If you read this far into this long and rambly post, I would like you to comment about something you truly like about yourself, and why. I will respond with what I like about you.

• Money is unimportant

Money has 5 letters. If you double that, you get 10.  If you divide that by 2, you get 5. If you do some more math, you get 666. Coincidence? I think not!! Every few months I do a cash giveaway. I know that sounds dumb, but it’s really amazing. Here’s how you do it – pull $20 out of your wallet and give it to a stranger in a store. Reactions are priceless. You will never see them again and it can really turn a horrible day into a great one for someone else. I am usually a huge spender on holidays and birthdays but believe me when I say that I’m far from a millionaire. In fact, this past year will be the 5th time I’ve gone flat-line bankrupt. But chances are, your friendship is incomparable to money, and I simply don’t care about losing cash. Being entirely broke gave me some of my best memories, and I learned the most from having nothing. Living paycheck to paycheck is hilarious. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

• Do stupid shit 

Should you survive, yours life could be the greatest story ever told. Your best memories are formed by that spring break tattoo, riding backwards on a horse, throwing coke and Mentos into a school parking lot after hours, skydiving with re-used rubber bands, Walmart runs at 3 am for cheesecake, and being so drunk you vomit onto the hairy face of your suitemate’s boyfriend and laugh. I have never done any of these things, but I can promise you that you will not regret it. I have never expressed this before, but the most illegal thing I have ever done had I gotten caught would be kidnapping with intent to harm. And guess what…it was a fucking blast. Yes the cops showed up but that’s another story/lesson. Looking back on your past and having nothing but dreary memories never cut it for anyone. Blow off studying. Go to the party, smoke weird things, and drink your heart out. Whatever you don’t remember will be more than what you learned in class a year later. Be present in the moment. Send letters. Human contact has gone from face-to-face, to phone call, to email, to text, to :/. Be unique-and don’t apologize.

• Most of all, be kind to everyone you meet.

Love,

Marissa

 

Editor’s Note – Marissa was one of the first friends I made in college and I honestly think she is one of the funniest people I know. As we don’t get to see each other as often now, I regularly have to stalk her over social media. Sometimes she gives me pointers on how to perfect my skills.

Guest Writer: Who Said I Was An Adult?! I Want Names!

It seems as though everyone and their mother (and grandmother and grandfather and second and third cousins) is writing articles on what it means to be a twenty-something.  As though the decade where you hit many major life rites of passage can be described in a twenty-something list of .gifs, vines and memes.  I have chuckled at and shared many of these articles.  I watch old episodes of Friends and think “I’m just like these people,” searching for the funniest BuzzFeed I can find comparing myself to Chandler (As of course I am a Chandler).  I am practically screaming at the top of my internet lungs that I was born in the 1990s and remember all of these pre-internet things.  While this is all superficial and fun games I can’t help but wonder has the internet age of sharing created the more malicious implication of these posts—the urge to be an “adult?”

Every single time (EVERY. SINGLE. TIME) I get together for drinks/workouts/dinner with a friend the topic of marriage and babies comes up.  The dialogue usually involves something along the lines of “Did you see so-and-so procreate/got married?”  It then quickly turns into either a “they are the last people on earth who should be trusted with another human life,” or a “what-the-actual-explicative is wrong with me?”  It’s as though the constant updates from people who in the past I wouldn’t have given a second thought after graduation has created a form of self-doubt that psychologists will study in the future and mark as the moment humanity collectively lost its mind.  I spend an inordinate amount of time reminding myself that I shouldn’t be jealous that Kathy bought a house, I don’t even know where I want to live yet! (Related: I’m 24 years old—I shouldn’t be buying a house!)

When did everyone come to the decision that they wanted to grow up so fast?  I relate to the characters on Friends and they’re in their late 20s when the show BEGINS.  This means that they are a decade ahead of me in years but I have this unrealistic expectation that I too should be knee-deep in my career and family life.  I shouldn’t.  I am not.  I am not and I shouldn’t be.  I am exactly where I should be in life.  I graduated college and went on to a Master’s program right away.  I acted as a Teaching Assistant and had the weirdest experience of having to be an authority figure to people who were just like I was 3 months prior.  I thought back to my experience with Teaching Assistants my freshman year of college at the University of Nebraska before I transferred to a university where all my professors had their doctorate in what they taught (Thanks for being worth my money, Mary Washington!).  The TAs always were either ridiculously hard or so laid back and awesome.  Which one they were differed based upon whether they saw themselves as an “adult” or not.

I didn’t understand it at the time, but it was either acceptance of the weirdness of their situation or overcompensation. The hard TAs were basically saying, “I feel insecure in my position of authority over you so I’m going to ruin your life,” or I imagine that was what it was anyway.  I spent so much time trying to be “professional” that I think I was actually unavailable to the students—which is the exact opposite of what an educator should do.  Then I became a tutor for the athletic department and in my first semester was so formal in my correspondence that I ended up having a lot of students stand me up (which isn’t as bad as it sounds because I still got paid!).  The second semester I realized that if I texted them instead of emailed them they might actually show up, listen to me and learn, because guess what—just like me they were twenty-something’s who are attached to their phone like it’s a good luck charm.  Once I stopped trying to be an “adult,” I actually was able to do my job.

This isn’t to say that I didn’t make mistakes along the way, because I did.  There’s a great story about one of the students I tutored giving me his post-game Gatorade because I ran into him after I had personally drank a gallon of alcohol.  All this means is that I shouldn’t have tried so hard to fit into this definition of what it means to be an “adult.”  I don’t know what an adult is, honestly.  But if it means having a home-loan and babies and husbands at the young age of 24 then I never want to grow up.  I barely know who I am.  I eat candy for breakfast sometimes.  I stay up until 3 A.M. for no reason.  These are not things that adults do but they are things that I am supposed to be doing.  I work a crappy job for crappy pay and have not yet reached my goal of becoming a Men’s College Basketball coach and that is entirely okay.  If being married and having kids is what you want to be doing at 24, then do it.  If it’s not, just remember Chandler and Monica were in their 30s before they got married and half of marriages end in divorce.

Sara is a currently working a crappy job for crappy pay in Virginia. Some of my fondest memories are hanging out with her during our college years. When she does decide to become an adult the world better watch out cause she is going to take it by storm.

Guest Writer: Don’t Call Us, We’ll Call You

After hearing the recent news about Robin Williams (who will forever remain in my heart as Peter Pan, Alan Parrish, Genie, Mrs. Doubtfire, and even Batty Koda) I thought about writing about mortality, or loss of innocence, but I figured that would be a horrible way to remember a man whom I never met, but was a large part of my life through his movies.

So instead I want to talk about chances. As an actor I deal with chances in my daily life, a chance to audition, a chance to meet someone important, or just a chance to sing a song for karaoke. Each chance I treat as an opportunity, but like many of you I hear, “No,” a lot. However, you can’t just stop because one person says no to you. I had a professor tell me once that you have to hear at least 20 no’s in order to hear one yes, making you appreciate that yes all the more. As an actor that’s just a way of life.If you look at each no as a rejection, the acting profession may not be for you. You will quickly learn no one in the acting industry is there to stroke your ego but yourself and maybe your mother.

If every job field looked at life like this, then think of all the positive energy that would generate! That no just means you’re one step closer to that yes! I know that sounds super corny, but try to focus on the fact that, “Hey they asked me for an interview, and while I’m not quite right for this job, that just means that I am now free to find one that I am right for!”

Not every interview or work proposal will be a yes, but they won’t all be no’s either. If you give up just because a few people said no, then I feel sorry for you. You’re just let someone else get to that yes before you.

You have to fight, because you are your strongest advocate and because no one else is going to. Sure there are your friends and family as a support net, but they aren’t the ones going to the interviews. I have told my friends my actor analogy a hundred times. Erica is probably going to roll her eyes when she reads this because I tell her this all the time.* The analogy goes like this; if you are confident that things will work out they usually do, but if things don’t, realize that now you have a shorter wait for that yes to come along.

I had to learn this the hard way in college. I didn’t like rejection. I took each criticism like they were personally offending me. This lead to me try out for less stuff because I figured how and why would they ever want to use me. Then I took a class with two professors with very different teaching styles. One was very encouraging, the other incredibly tough. Just so you can get a sense of what this “toughness” was like, she had a reputation for telling people they didn’t belong in the theater department. I was sure that during the final meeting with the teachers, she would tell me that. Instead I was met with praise. I was told I was wonderful to work with. The praise showed that I had grown as a person as well as an actor, and that I truly belonged there. I started to audition again and got into my first main stage production. Sometimes you have to be dragged through hell in order to believe in yourself, but once you do there is no turning back. Do not be afraid to ask for help. You never have to feel weak to need someone to give you a little reminder now and again that you are fantastic and that someone will want to work with you in whatever capacity. You just have to be patient and while I acknowledge that waiting sucks, but it will be so worth it.

 

Veronica is a stage and screen actress living in Northern Virginia with her parents and a ball of fur (aka a dog) named Louie. I fully expect her to take me to the Academy Awards someday.

*Editor’s Note: Erica did not roll her eyes. She sort of snorted and chuckled.

 

 

Guest Writer – The Girl Who Would Be Peter Pan

My name is Lara and Erica asked if I would be interested in writing as a guest blogger, and I thought: “Why not?” (which happens to be my alma mater Lafayette College’s motto if a fellow leopard ever reads this!). So please forgive me if this post does not contain the usual lovely writing form that Erica demonstrates so often. Erica and I have been friends for almost nine years now. We met almost the first day of high school and became fast friends and now she is far and above one of my best friends. I never have to worry about what I say to her because I know that I will always have her love, just as she will always have mine.

I was nervous about what to write about, but Erica said she usually just focuses on any thoughts she feels that week and tends to consider a theme of growing up. We’re 23 now, and she definitely is feeling the pressures of growing up, what with looking for full-time employment, but not settling for a job that would not make her happy. Then you have me. I am putting off growing up for as long as possible by remaining a full-time graduate student.

But perhaps this is not your definition of growing up. If that’s true, I do not disagree with you. “Growing up” can mean many things to different people (duh) but the thing that has made me realize (especially this week) that I am in fact growing up is that I don’t judge you for your different definition or interpretation. I may disagree, but I won’t think less of you for your opinions.

There has been a lot of things happening in the United States this week: the USA got knocked out of the World Cup by Belgium (*tear*), the Supreme Court decided on Hobby Lobby, Target asked its customers to not bring guns into their store, and it’s only WEDNESDAY!! Furthermore, we have the great joy of celebrating on Friday the day the congressional congress signed the Declaration of Independence to King George III thus initiating our rebellion from England!

Anyway, back to growing up. Social media has made it possible for people to put their lives on display; the good and the bad. The good side to this is that it’s super easy to keep in touch with a lot of people and to share interesting ideas/thoughts. The bad side is that it seems to have opened the door for greater opportunities of cruelty, bullying, and just being mean in general. People are passionate, this I accept as a given and I love it when people’s passion shines through for stuff that they love and it’s great that we live in a place where they can freely express that passion. At the same time, I think a big part of growing up is learning when to keep certain ways of expressing your opinion to yourself. Words can be hurtful and hurtful words are usually unwelcome, particularly if the other person may be trying to have an intellectual conversation to stimulate the exchange of ideas (yes, this recently happened to me and it greatly affected me).

Growing up in part is coming to understand the consequences of your actions. Some are obvious, such as leaving food on the counter will allow it to spoil. But learning that words have consequences is much more difficult a lesson to learn, and one that maybe some people never do. Growing up is no longer, if it ever was, a consequence of the amount of years since your birth. Growing up is a state of mind of conscientious thought and consideration for…everyone…and everything. All life on Earth deserves respect, just as the Earth itself does. What got to me this week was the attacking kind of disrespect. I disagree with your opinion, which does not mean that you need to attack my personal beliefs, particularly as an argument point. It also does not mean that I am somehow less than you. You can interpret that in whatever way you wish: less religious than you, less deserving than you, less good than you, less kind than you, less smart than you, less open-hearted than you…I think you get the idea.

So when you respond to something on social media, whether it’s a happy face or a counter argument, please remember that the Internet is forever and words matter, and people remember them. I would ask that you try to be respectful of others and their opinions and to try to foster an open line of communication. Take a moment, think about what you’re going to say, and always remember that when in doubt, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

 

Lara is a student at the UT Space Institute where she is learning and studying things that make Erica’s head hurt.

 

Fat Girl Dating

I have never had much luck with men romantically. I have always had guy friends that is not the problem. The problem has always been my midsection. It gets in the way. Literally. However, recently I have gotten smaller and well as you can probably expect I am feeling pretty damn good about myself. Confidence has never been higher. Add the fact that I am taking better care of myself all around ,a working professional not just a college student, and you basically have a whole new me. So I guess my question is…how do fat girls date? I understand that I am still not the skinniest person alive and have a long way to go but when I look down do not see stomach the feeling I get makes me wanna kiss someone. 

Life is not like the movies. I know that an adorable, charming man is not just going to walk up to me and strike up a conversation and after a whirlwind romance we are going to live happily ever after. Since that is not going to happen that means I have to do something. So, how do you find the happy middle between wanting to just take a small nap on the commute home and talking to the guy next to you without sounding like a stupid teenager? I have read all the articles about dating and love and they all make dating sound, well, hard. I mean who has the time, inclination, or confidence to just you know put yourself out there or spend an evening making small talk with someone. Now I do have friends who would say, “but Erica, you have said to me before, the worst thing they could say is no.” True but when there is an expletive or a laugh in front of it suddenly dating sounds horrible and unnecessary. 

There is this guy. He is in my office and he is so cute. He is nice and charming and I can talk to him and I wanna ask him out but what if he has a girlfriend? Or is not interested? Or rejects me? Then I have to see him at work and make awkward small talk…OK the more I talk about this the worse an idea it seems. Nix that. See what I mean?! I am completely useless to myself. When I was 75 pounds heavier I always resigned myself to the idea that I would never find anyone. I would never get married, date, or have children. I would forever be the cool aunt to my friend’s children. OK before you start getting all emotional for me I can assure you, I was ok with it. Truly. However, as us women are prone to do, I have changed my mind. Maybe there is someone out there for me. Now, if the cosmos could just send him to me by express mail that would be greatly appreciated. 

If anyone could offer me advice other than a Nike slogan* I would be grateful. I have realized that when I saw guys just a friends it made life so much easier. There was no babbling, no awkwardness, no thinking. When I thought there was no way they would ever be interested I could make the small talk like a boss. Losing weight has broken me and fixing me is taking longer than I thought. 

 

*Just Do It

Raising My Hand

I have been away from the University of Mary Washington for  a year now. I have been finished with college for almost 9 months now. However, as a summer graduate I have yet to make the symbolic walk across the stage to shake hands with the college president and officially finish college. A three-hour ceremony and my world changes.

As the day gets closer and closer I have started reflecting on the past, present, and future:

1) Playing through the growing pains

I recently started a new job and it’s my first real professional job. While I do enjoy my job I can say that there are definitely some growing pains that I have experienced before, way back when I made the jump from high school to college. While going from high school to college and college to working are in act quite different the feelings I am experiencing are fascinatingly and frustratingly the same. However, as my infinitely smarter parents pointed out, that this is a part of getting into the work force and that as I learn and grow into this new state of being it will hurt less and less. When I stated college I made a conscious effort to see the good things about what I didn’t and try to it focus on the bad.

2) 110%

One of the very few regrets I have from college is that I wish I had worked harder in college. That’s not to say I slacked off but there were times when I could started that essay a week sooner, given that extra 10%. I have thought about going back to school to learn new specific skills or to even earn a masters but I have concluded that if I was to do this I need to be in 110%. Do or do not, not try.

3) So Far, So Good

There are so many things that I did learn while at UMW and so many things that I know. I have found myself this past couple of weeks trying to remind myself of that. While I still have a long way to go I have come so far already.

4) Answer/Asking

 

Learning to raise my hand not just to answer questions but to ask them. This is a lesson that I learned while in college and one that I have started to prefect while in the work place. I have learned that there is always someone who knows the answer and more often than not they are willing to tell you.

5) Being Proud of my accomplishments

I have a college degree. I got accepted into 8 of the 10 colleges I applied to. I made long-lasting friendships. I choose a college that was perfect for me. I mark those in the win column.

I am proud of myself for graduating high school. I am proud of myself for making it through college. Life after college has thrown me some curve balls but sooner or later I will hit a home run. I remember the past, I am enjoying the present, and learning to not fear the future.

DO NOT Give Me the Face

I was in my American Sign Language class and we were learning how to talk about our family histories. When it was my turn I had to mention that I was adopted and so I did not share the same ancestral history as my parents. I proceeded on to finish my little speech with no major interruptions except my teacher helping me to perfect my signing. It was actually really cool cause I learned that another classmate of mine was also adopted. This little project got me thinking about how often I actually tell people I am adopted and I found myself having to really think about the last time I voluntarily gave up that information. I found I hardly ever tell people I am adopted. Not because I do not find it to be valuable information about myself but I just do not find it was interesting as others do. I started wondering why and I just figured it out. It’s “The Face”.

The Face is that look that someone I am talking to get that conveys their sadness about my life. The crazy thing is, I have no earthly idea why they would make this face. This face is usually reserved for people who are dying, have a chronic drug problem, or just got divorced. I have a great life. I have great parents, a pretty cool job, great living situation, great education, and great friends. But before I go off on the people who make this face and yes, even you closest friends have made this face, I should probably tell you what prompts the giving of The Face.

The most common thing that brings about The Face is when I tell people who I have never met my biological parents. Now I use the term ‘biological parent’ because it takes too long to say ‘the people who contributed biological material’. I really do not like adding parents because it implies that these two people a hand in raising me which they did not. Actually they had as little to do with raising me as possible it would seem. But that is beside the point because like I said I have great parents. People ask the question, they get the answer and immediately The Face comes on. It is that look of sadness, pity, and that need to hug me. (Just for the record, please don’t hug me.) I never understood their need to make this face. I mean, like I said before, I have a great life. When I was applying for college my father suggested that I write a story about my life up until then. Until this day I personally think my life has been pretty boring but my father is smarter than my so I did it. My father actually sent this essay to people we knew after it was finished and many of them gave positive feedback. I was astonished. I just chalked it up to them being nice to a friend’s daughter. I mean my life in my eyes was hospital, foster care, my parents home, college for 4 years and now back at my parents. Not exactly the things for a novel.

I get this face all the time even without telling the whole story. Mind you I have yet to actually tell anyone the entire story. I usually lose immediate interest in talking about me being adopted after they make The Face. I was adopted. Could everyone please stop making a big deal out of it?! And please, whatever you do, DO NOT MAKE THE FACE!

Secrets of an Internship

So, it was during my lunch break when I was browsing and reading some of the stories on WashingtonPost.com, Cnn.com, and NYTimes.com when I stumbled across an article that was making a short of announcement. This article or blurb really, was talking about the start up of a blog called “Spotted: DC [Summer] Interns“. What had I just discovered? Could it be…it was!!! A blog about the trials and tribulations of the people who have to work with DC interns and, from what I read, the stupid things they say and do.

                I have to be honest; I technically do not work in DC. The blog cites interns that work on The Hill, federal departments, or downtown offices. I am still in Virginia but that is just semantics. And I am going to, for the purpose of this blog entry, cite that I did work at the DSCC last semester so I was close. I have never worked with idiots in an office. I have done Exxon Mobil’s Community Summer Jobs Program (Foster and Linden) which features a host of different non-profits that have one intern but this year at NRECA is the first time I have worked with other interns at the same company. While I don’t work directly with any of the interns I did get to meet all of them on Orientation Day. They are all very smart, willing to learn, and know that not every single moment of this internship is going to be spent doing something that engages and challenges you.

                To be an intern is to get coffee, run errands, and make copies. It’s a natural cycle of things. Somebody has to do it and even though I have never worked in a House or Senate office I suspect they would have a lot of those mundane jobs to do. So to those interns who are no happy with this situation I have a few things to say to you:

1)       If you are getting paid, please stop complaining.

You should be forever grateful to whatever higher being you believe in that you got a paying internship in DC because believe me there are 10 people who would love to be paid to make coffee. To those intern who are not getting paid, it sucks but it could be worse. You could be at home doing nothing this summer.

2)      You get out of an internship what you put into it.

Yes, sometimes copies must be made, coffee must be poured and delivered, and errands must be run. Internships are not about what people give you. They are about what you ask for. Get to know that people in your office. Do not be afraid to ask them if you can join them in meetings, not to take part but just to watch. That is where the knowledge and learning comes in. If you passively sit back and wait for people to invite you to things, you will be waiting awhile.

3)      There is always someone smarter than you.

I would suspect that every summer House and Senate offices get students that are bright and smart, but think they are the smartest at everything. I know this will be a hard thing to swallow but there is someone smarter than you. Coming to terms with this will make you sound less of an idiot at times. Getting snarky or angry at these people just makes you look like a spoiled child.

4)      Please dress appropriately.

When you go to work in cheetah print heels, skinny leggings pants, and a shirt that shows way to much of you cleavage you make our entire generation look bad. Go out and buy some slacks and non-animal printed heels. Also, the heels make look nice but they can be impractical especially if you are going to be walking from the office to the Capital. Bring a pair of flats with you. And gentlemen, all I will say to you is this: a man in a suit is sexy. Get some that fit.

And last but not least…

5)      Stop complaining!

You are an intern. This means that you get the coffee, make the copies, and run the errands. Get use to it. Life sucks at the bottom and we all know it. We really do not need to hear it from you constantly.

Being an intern is what I have done for the past 5 summers and it is where I learned many things. From learning how a copier works (they can be more confusing than you think) to how to read a Metro map (they are surprisingly easy). No task is too dumb and if you really want learn the tasks won’t matter. Interns are an important part of a House or Senate office and if you are heading up to The Hill this summer to intern please for the love of all that is holy try to not embarrass your fellow interns. The last thing you want is to be is ‘that intern’.

Internship for Summer 2013: National Rural Electric Cooperative Association

So another summer, another internship except this is not just another internship. This is THE internship. It’s with an established company, it pays, it is in the field of work that I want to work in. It’s the holy grail of internships because it is the peak…to bad that it ends in about 8 weeks. Mind you I just started today so not much has happened yet but it will definitely pick up. It has too. I have not waited this long to not do my best in my chosen field. I actually will get to use what I learned in college. I mean this could be the internship…or it could also show that I am not ready for this. It is time for me to start looking beyond the walls of academia. Time to look at what I have waited for: adulthood.

No, I cannot even think about that because as I have gotten older have I gotten a glimpse of what it means to be an adult. It is scary and not ok. Mortgages, taxes, insurance, buying food, preparing food, buying gas. As much as I would like to move out of my parents house I know that I just do not have to life skills or means to do that just yet. I will get there but the first stop on this train to independence is a job and this internship could be the stepping stone to what could be amazing opportunities.

This is the first internship where once it ends I won’t be heading back to school. UMW and I have parted ways and I am scared that I might not be able to achieve what I want to. I want to work. I want to learn what it takes. I see the bar and I intend to not just clear it but leave plenty of room to spare.

Life after College: Am I Ready?

So, I am back at school for what will hopefully be by last semester of school. And while I am super excited about the end of my college career, I am also terrified. Transitioning from elementary school to middle school wasn’t a huge jump but I did have to concentrate on the jump. Middle school to high school I had to take a few steps back to make the leap. High school to college I had to use a zip line. I can only imagine the machinery I will need to survive the jump from college to adult life. I would like to think that I will only need a small 2 person plane to make the jump but as it gets closer and closer I am thinking I may need closer to a 747, with plenty of space. Last semester all I could think is that I am ready for college to be over but as I get closer to the end I am reconsidering. Think my parents would be mad if I decided to change my major? Mad, probably not. Not willing to pay for at least 2 more years of school, more plausible.

I recently made a mistake that I am extremely embarrassed about. This is the kind of mistake that has the potential the change my current course. It was me not paying attention to a little thing. While I know it will be fine I am afraid that this is the kind of thing that I am afraid of. Am I ready for the real world? If this mistake is any indication maybe real life isn’t for me.

I’ve always known what is next. I have dutifully gone from elementary to middle to high to college. This is the first time I will attend a graduation that is effectively an end of around 17 years of education.  After graduation there just seems to be this empty space and honestly, I do not know if I am ready for it.