Guest Writer – Mean Girls: A Girl’s Guide To What Not To Say

“When is it acceptable to beat a woman unconscious?” was a question I never thought I would be asking. But here I am asking that exact question and looking for an answer from another women.

It was a Saturday night at a Dave Matthews concert when it happened. It happened when I struck up a conversation with the couple sitting next to me before the band started their first set. The man next to me had a large Baltimore Ravens seal tattooed on his calf. Being the forward person that I am and not afraid of awkward situations, I asked him what he thought of the whole Ray Rice controversy that is going on right now. Instantly, I got the answer from the woman sitting next to him; “Whatever she did, she probably deserved it” she said. I was taken aback by her instant response. As I sat there watching the lights go down and listening to the band started to play, I was stunned. I found myself thinking about how awful women treat and judge other women and how we are not going to get anywhere until we gain more of a respect for us as a gender and as people.

Women look at other women and instantly judge them. We label women with harsh words such as slut or whore. We categorize her as trashy all based on the way she is acting, speaking or dressed. Snap judgments based on not knowing anything about her. Women have a tendency to pass judgments and think that we are better than someone else just based purely on superficial things such as hair, breast size, and weight. How are we supposed to gain respect and equality in society when most of the time women disrespect each other? Are we not supposed to unite as a gender to fight for our rights as women?

Humans have a tendency to put themselves into groups and women are no different. Instead of being united, we split into small groups. Everyone who thinks they are better than the women next to them because you are [insert dividend here], go stand over there. By doing this, we perpetrate this idea that some of us deserve less respect and are viewed with less respect. Have men learned this behavior for us? Have we taught men that it is okay to not treat women equally? Is it then okay to beat your wife? I mean, according to the NFL the punishment for beating a woman to near unconsciousness is only a two game suspension. But do not even think about stomping on other players’ head during a game that will get you suspended for five games. Thank you, NFL for…well nothing. Again, here was an example of the NFL coming up short during a critical 2 minute play.

People on the internet sometimes make excuses for rape perpetrators. In what world is it okay to rape a woman, because, I mean, did you see the way she was dressed? That dress just begged to be taken off. You, could totally tell she was asking for it. Thanks general public. In what world is it okay to sexually assault a woman, video tape it and then post it for all to see?  After which you will only be banned from campus AFTER you graduate. Thanks James Madison University.  In what world is it okay for today’s government to create laws that will take away our rights as women, rights that we already fought for and won decades ago? Thanks government.  In what world it is okay to invest 401K funds in companies that create reproductive medication but then not have to offer this same medicine to your employees because of religious reasons. Thanks Supreme Court. In what world? Ours. How can we expect society have to treat women equally if we do not treat ourselves equally?

We need to stop the judgments. I do not pretend to be perfect. I am guilty of this judgment, almost all women are. Judgments however, are not getting us anywhere. We cut other women down because of the way they dress, act, and speak. It has to stop. We have to unite and fight because we are women and human beings. We can no longer afford to judge each other and separate each other into categories. We must instead unite as a gender and fight for our rights lest we continue to be viewed as the lesser gender which I think we can all agree is not true. We are many things. Strong, intelligent, and the bearers of children to name a few.  We must make it perfectly clear and insist that men and society treat us thus. We will not accept anything less.

It’s time we stand up united, so that I will never have to ask another woman, “When is it acceptable to beat a woman unconscious?”

 

The female writer would like everyone to know that the Dave Matthews concert was still fantastic none the less. She advises that you should all go see him in concert as soon as possible.

Managing Expectations

Managing expectations is something that I have become intimately acquainted with. While I am definitely sure that I was better off than many other college students I was irritated when I did not get a full-time job until almost a year after I left college. I mean, I was a catch! I was intelligent, savvy, and willing learn. I mean, what were people waiting for!?!

After leaving college, I couldn’t wait to start working. Getting up, getting dress, commuting, doing a full days work, and coming home. It all sounded so…grown up. And that’s what I wanted to be, a grown up. I have since rethought that but that’s another post for another time. When I first stated job searching I did not hear back at all. So my high self-esteem dipped a bit but I was determined so I kept trying. Then I started getting some interviews and with them my self-esteem rose a little higher. However, that was short-lived because no one was calling me back after the interviews . A phone interview followed by an in person interview, and then….silence. I mean most of them didn’t even have the courtesy to email me. Just radio silence. For awhile I thought it might be me, then after a long time I was convinced it was me. I took a break from job apply to have my surgery (I know you have no idea what I am talking about. Don’t worry I will get to it soon.) Then I finally did it….well sort of did it. I got a full-time job with a great organization called The Atlas Project as a research fellow. While it wasn’t a full-time staff job it was a job. It was around this time that I started to realize that I was not going to get a call from every job I applied to, no matter how perfect I thought I was for it. So I started to not get excited about anything. I would go to a job interview, think I did a great job ( I have become a zen master in the art of the interview), and left thinking “I so got this job.” Some went so well I would half expecting them, to call me an hour later and tell me how perfect I was. Rejection after rejection has changed my attitude toward the whole process. I now apply to jobs and almost immediately forget about them because 8/10 applications will get no response. OK maybe that’s a little high but you get my point. I have convinced myself that the perfect job does not exist. That I will get stuck doing something I can tolerate instead of something I actually like. Forget about loving my job, cause that ain’t never gonna happen.

Then it happened. My negative attitude toward job hunting took a turn yesterday after I had a job interview that may have actually landed me that illusive perfect job. I mean, could it really happen? Could I really finally have not only landed a full staff job but the perfect job as well? I told a few people but then I started second guessing myself. I mean, maybe it was all in my head and that would suck cause it really is exactly what I want to do. I could use my degree and learn about campaign finance and fundraising. It would be perfect but experience has shown my that when I think that it could happen it usually doesn’t. I have been told many times to put positive energy out and positive energy will come back to you but that is infinitely hard than it sounds. Life has a way of beating the optimism out of you.  So to limit the hurt that I get when a rejection comes in I have learned to…manage expectations.

Internship for Summer 2013: National Rural Electric Cooperative Association

So another summer, another internship except this is not just another internship. This is THE internship. It’s with an established company, it pays, it is in the field of work that I want to work in. It’s the holy grail of internships because it is the peak…to bad that it ends in about 8 weeks. Mind you I just started today so not much has happened yet but it will definitely pick up. It has too. I have not waited this long to not do my best in my chosen field. I actually will get to use what I learned in college. I mean this could be the internship…or it could also show that I am not ready for this. It is time for me to start looking beyond the walls of academia. Time to look at what I have waited for: adulthood.

No, I cannot even think about that because as I have gotten older have I gotten a glimpse of what it means to be an adult. It is scary and not ok. Mortgages, taxes, insurance, buying food, preparing food, buying gas. As much as I would like to move out of my parents house I know that I just do not have to life skills or means to do that just yet. I will get there but the first stop on this train to independence is a job and this internship could be the stepping stone to what could be amazing opportunities.

This is the first internship where once it ends I won’t be heading back to school. UMW and I have parted ways and I am scared that I might not be able to achieve what I want to. I want to work. I want to learn what it takes. I see the bar and I intend to not just clear it but leave plenty of room to spare.

First Day and its only Noon

This is a picture of a Linden Tree, which was the inspiration for the name of the organization I am interning at.

So it is about noon on the first day of my internship at Linden Resources, Inc. Today did not start out the way I wanted. First, even though I left my house at around 8:10, it took me an entire hour to get to work meaning yes, sadly, I was a little late. Thank goodness my boss did not get mad at me. It will never happen again and I will be sure to make sure to leave by, at the latest 8. Embarrassing is what I felt while I was pulling into the parking lot.

The building I am in, I have found out, use to be an elementary school which is cool. The people here all seem nice. The woman from HR that gave me my new employee orientation was nice. She showed me all over and introduced me to many of the other employees. At this point my day is looking better.

My boss just handed me a list of things I will be working on this summer. DEAR LORD!! There are about 10 things on here all with multiple parts and she informed me as she was handing to me, that from the time she got it from the printer to when she arrived in my cubicle there were at least 3 more things that she had forgotten to put on there. I am going to be so busy!! And the best part is, every single one of the things on this list is something I will be so interested in doing. Creating e-newsletters, creating another Facebook page, connecting with local governmental agencies, creating press lists, making the lobby more guest friendly, I am on Cloud 9!

I am meeting with my boss in about an hour to discuss the things on this list, which I cannot wait to get started on. 8 weeks to go…

World Hunger…Unacceptable

During my freshman year of college during the spring semester I took a class on political communication. I loved it!! I also created a video about world hunger because the assignment was to create a piece of communication that could be used in a campaign against or for something of your choosing. I chose world hunger because as a big girl it is pretty obvious I love food (maybe a little bit too much sometimes) so I thought I would do a video on people who don’t have nearly enough food to survive. I believe that no child should go hungry so I created a video called World Hunger Awareness to get the word out. The music is NicklebackIf Everyone Cared. I thought that it fit perfectly with the message I was trying to convey. Everyone should be passionate about something and my something is helping people. What’s yours?

US Postal Service

So today I will be doing something that I bet only about half of you do now: I am going to go to a post office and mail a letter. Ahhh yes the good old US Postal Service will be getting my attention today. Mind you it is just some bills and a job application but still. Not exciting stuff I know but I love sending mail and getting mail. As a college student getting mail from anyone is the best thing in the world. You better believe I bragged to my roommate and friends when I got a piece of mail. One of my friends Pam is actually from the area around my college so she doesn’t get mail that often. She and I had promised my brother that we would write to him but we never got around to it (this semester, i promise bro.)

I love writing. I was always good at english but when I got to college I decided that being an english major just wasn’t for me hence why I ended up a business and now a political science major. Technology has made it easy for us to communicate so people do not go back to writing handwritten letter. In my opinion handwritten letters are better than any email I ever got.

Best times are when it is finals time and I will tell you why in 2 words: care packages. Care packages are the best things ever!! Especially they way my parents pack them. There are always healthy things but also a little chocolate which is the bomb.

So to all you kids out there who are bored over this summer consider sending a letter to your best friend, a pen pal, or family members who you don’t get to see often. Getting letters are always fun! 🙂

Junior Year Fall 2011

So I am heading back to school in about a month and I cannot wait!! Not only and I very sick of being at home and my parents but I want to show them that I can be that A student that they knew in high school. I cannot wait!! I am getting a new roommate and hopefully it will be a good friend of mine.  We will be good together. At least I hope so considering I have had 3 roommates over 2 years. First roommate: did not get along. Second roommate: fantastic but she left to go to a school closer to home. Third roommate: moving off campus. I am going to make this one stick.

Oh and I also got all the classes I wanted. Every single class I am taking is one I wanted to take and am in my new major, political science. I was a business administration major but then I realized that I did not like business and I was just taking it because it thought it would look good for jobs and things like that. But I then came to the realization that taking classes that made me miserable in a major I didn’t have my heart in vs. a major and classes that I enjoyed seemed silly. So I switched and so far I am excited about starting my new major.

I am also turning 21 this year which is a big deal. 10,13,16, 18, and 21 are the milestones I have hit so far. And all of them have been great (except 18 which had a bit of a bump, but I will tell you about that later). I am growing up and loving it. I am going to get good grades this year no ifs, ands, or buts. Just hard work and studious behavior. Wish me luck!

Internships 101

Interning is a delicate art of presenting yourself in the best light so that employers will not only think you will be an asset to their company but you will learn skill that will help you be a perspective member of society. Knowing how to write a resume, cover letter, and a reference sheet are vital in securing a kick butt internship.

I have had 3 internships since the summer that I graduated high school. Foster Care Alumni of America is the third and so far has been one of the most amazing. Not just learning how a nonprofit runs but how to use social media to drive traffic to your organization and the wonderful work they are doing. I love it. Last summer I was an intern with Fairfax County Government in the Office to Prevent and End Homelessness (OPEH) . My aunt works for the county and she asked the department director if he knew of any nonprofits that needed an intern for the summer and he said that OPEH needed one. My first internship was with National Rural Telecommunications Cooperation (NRTC). I was working in the legal and finance departments. In Upstairs, Downstairs I talked about the dynamics that are present in a for-profit organization. It was eye-opening.

Getting a good internship (in my experience) means you have to do your research and gather your materials. Know what you are applying for and make sure all your materials show the employer that you are the best for that particular internship. Double check all your materials before you send them to the intended party. It is fine to have a template for your résumé and cover letter but make sure you change and/or add things before you send it. It makes them more personal.

Apply to a lot of internships. If you pin your hopes one just one you will most likely get burned. However, do not get discouraged if you cannot snag an internship for the summer. There is always next summer and even the spring and fall if your college or university allows that. Make sure to check out the internship policy from your school. If you do an internship that does not pay see if you can get credits through your school. Advocate for yourself, you will be working 40 hours maybe more for this company while gathering valuable skills, you should get something out of the internship be it money or credits.

When it comes to resumes and cover letters, look up formats online or ask for help in your schools career center. It will help, I promise. They will help you with “packaging” which is half of the battle of getting an internship.

One mistake that I did when first looking for internships was applying to everything I saw. You have to really want to do the internship and learn from the people you will be working with. DO NOT apply for an internship that you will be bored with. Not only does that do the company a disservice but you could be taking an internship from another one of your peers who has a genuine interesting in that subject. However, that being said apply to as many internships as you can that you will help you excel. This will give you a better chance at finding the best internship for you.

This past summer I applied to an internship that I really wanted. Thankfully I got a call to schedule an interview (which I will talk about in a minute). It went well and they said they would email me with their decision. I knew I had a great chance at getting this internship so I stopped apply to others which is a no-no as I said above. It turned out I did not get the internship ( I was their second choice and would call me if the person they had chosen couldn’t do it). Well, at first I was angry, than sad, then I panicked. This had been my #1 choice and I had been rejected (coming in second really does suck!). And the worst thing about this was that I had pined my hopes on this one internship. Now I am really panicked. But, I pulled myself together (after a call to the parental units), and started applying for others. If I had not gotten rejected from that first internship I would not have made my way to Foster Care Alumni of America, which I love!!

After you have applied to an internship and they have responded to your application they may ask to schedule an interview. I had to do mine for FCAA over the phone because I was at school but if you can do an interview in person, do it in person. You get to leave an impression that would otherwise be lost over the phone.

A great resume, a kick butt cover letter, and awesome references are some of the weapons that will help you to get an amazing internship. The rest is up to you. Comment if you would like to add, know of any good websites that help with the things talked about in the post, or need advice.

What is it?!?! Its a plane…its a bird…no its an intern!!!

 Hey everyone! So first thing I want to say is that I have the worst train of thought process and tend to get off topic. I write like a 4 year old in a long stream of consciousness that is sometimes hard to follow. So I am apologizing in advance. Also, I am the world worst speller (as you can see by the above word). Please just roll with it. I am creating this blog to document my times as an intern. I have been an intern before but this is the first time I have let the world know what it’s like being inside the mind of intern Erica and on some occasions just plain old Erica. I will not just be posting here about my internship but also when I want to just talk. This will be my time and my time starts now…